My friend, feeling triggered, worried that there was something remaining that she needed to surrender to resolve the discomfort. She wondered, “what is this elusive problem that’s causing my triggers, and what should I do to repair it? Will working an inventory help? Is there a character defect I’m still grasping to?”
As it’s human nature to sometimes feel [insert any emotion], it’s addicts’ nature to sometimes feel triggered.
I have found there’s nothing wrong with feeling triggered. Now that I know how to refrain from acting upon my triggers, feeling triggered isn’t a problem. It’s just a feeling or a thought that appears- I simply acknowledge it and let it pass by. It doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong; it never means there’s something wrong with me. My mind and body will feel what they feel. I get to choose how to respond to those feelings.
Side note: Feeling triggered may be an indication that there’s some emotion or situation I’m (consciously or subconsciously) avoiding or just struggling with. When I feel triggered, it’s an opportunity to ask myself how I’m feeling and to observe what arises.
I saw a picture of Spiritual Bypassing versus Authentic Healing (see below), and it’s beautiful. Linear healing is a lie! My feelings are strong and true, and I get to express them fully. Indeed that is what keeps me healthy and genuine. I can touch my grief, hold it, and wail. To feel my despair only makes me more human and whole. The despair is present no matter if I deny it, repress it, or feel it. The difference is that resisting my despair makes it more painful, and the pain lasts longer. When I allow my mind to embrace my feelings and my body to process my feelings, I am able to move through it. Thich Nhat Hanh said, “the way out is in,” And I find that to be true over and over and over again. It is my current mantra.
